About Me

I’m 41 years old and I’ve spent my whole life helping others before I knew how to help myself. I learned people before I learned myself. Not because I was curious but because I had to.

I’m a queer, cis-gendered, white, male who is blessed with aphantasia, adhd, empathy, and mild-autism. I have a deaf cat, Fiona. I have a teardrop camper “Cap” that I took on two big trips in 2025.

I'm a programmer with 20 years of experience. I’m not the best technologist but, I am a damn good problem-solver. I solved the un-glamorous problems nobody admitted existed and dissolved team friction at the same time. I coached my managers and mentored my teammates. When I noticed something wrong - I spoke up. I named it. I interrupted it. I moved things.

That wasn't something I developed. It was just how I operated. And it went everywhere with me.

It wasn't always welcome. When it wasn't, I became the problem.

I never doubted what I did. But I did notice it often wasn’t welcome. I learned that if I didn’t speak up; nobody would. Most of the time I became the person everyone got frustrated with. I disrupted what was comfortably known.

Eventually the moments and evidence would tell me that I hadn’t been wrong. I realized that I was the only one truly witnessing everything in the room.

I have aphantasia — no imagination, no inner movie. I navigate entirely by conceptualization, resonance, pattern recognition, and my felt intuitive sense. I don't picture things. I feel structure. I am perpetually present. For a long time, I didn't know that was unusual.

Once I understood it, everything made sense. The precision. The pattern recognition. The ability to hear what people aren't saying.

I don't practice this work. I iterate. Practice implies something still forming. I know what I'm doing — I'm always making it sharper.

This past year I did the hardest work of my life. I dismantled everything — a marriage, a home, an identity — and built something new from the ground up. Entirely alone. No roadmap.

I’m familiar with the terrain. You don’t have to do it alone.